First Jesus, and now Lincoln?! Well, okay, that’s actually a lot better for a number of very good reasons. Still though. The Skull Base Quantum-Leaps-but-just-through-time again, this…. TIME…. to when President Lincoln met his maker. Will they prevent his assassination? Is that why they’re there? Do they even know who Lincoln is? Isn’t there a B story involving Constable Prime hiring an intergalactic and inter….TIME…. bounty hunter? Why haven’t I even mentioned that Socrates is in this episode too, does he like, not count? Stop asking so many fucking questions. There’s the play button. Use it.
The future. The year 200x. Evidently, it’s made up of asinine teenaged girl people and mostly just bullshit everywhere. See, the Ultimate Smartness done blowed up the world. Not many folk left, and what folk is left, well, they’re pretty vapid and r-word-ed, frankly. I wonder who rules the world now? Probably somebody – or something – outwardly racist. Look, the future sucks, that’s the point, alright?
Jesus Christ. Sorry about that, man. Overlord Skull Bludgeon takes on the main man’s role after accidentally parking the time jumping Skull Base right on top of Golgotha’s most famous death-by-torture hillock. Doom Cock can’t even handle how that goes. Others are there and they say and do stuff too. They’re mostly girls though, and Chad Bingo, who frankly has a hard enough time pulling his weight in the crew, am I right? Only one way to find out.
Intrepid listener! We’ve been trapped in a bullshit time loop, and we’ve finally escaped to share our exploits with you, as a podcast. We know this now. We know who you are, and are mostly disappointed with how you look. This is the first part, where we fuck around on time and don’t stop anything bad from happening (because we’re ‘villains’, remember?) but we do make more bad things happen (again, villains). Does it even go anywhere? Does anything even matter? Well, better get listening, I guess.
The season finale is here! Campbell is triumphant; the Ultimate Smartness has come to Earth to spread her Ultimate Loveness while the Skull Base crew races to do…something? about it. A baby is made, a head explodes, and mostly everyone just stands around and argues. Hey, it’s a podcast, what the hell do you want from us?
The gang, having recently reacquired the titular Skull Base from the clutches of Campbell and Antioch Blooddare, have just received an invitation to a party, where they are the guests of honor. And, what the huh? All the super villains from the Dammerung/Cleveland blowing up thing from Season One are there? Don’t those guys hate our guys? I guess we’ll just to listen to figure this whole thing out.
Dwayne is stuck in an elevator with two members of the documentary crew that was filming the Skull Base for a 77 part expose. They are creeps with the uncanny ability to play clips from past episodes to justify their weird sentences. Get all caught up on half of the Skull Base lore with part
one two of our clip show!
When last we left our not-heroes, a battle between not-good and the other guys was about to erupt. But we forgot to give you Campbell’s back story, so we did that instead. Who is Ultimor? What’s that stank in the broom closet? If Guard #2 had the balls to defect, just what in the hell is up with Guard #1, you know? If Chad doesn’t want to be here, why did he invite himself along in the first place? There are many questions, and frankly, I can only think of one way to get answers.
The Skull Base crew head over to local watering hole and all-around useful area The Windup Space to wreak havoc with their masterful karaoke skills. Watch with your ears as they sneak around, make observations about their surroundings, and encounter the evilly flamboyant Antioch Blooddare. It’s our first live episode, Base Heads! Get into it!
Bonus: Overlord Skull Bludgeon sings Hazy Shade of Winter at the end. Party.
This is it, Base Heads! The Skull Base crew finally gets their shit together to take back, well, the Skull Base. Honey and Dwayne find time to awkwardly talk about their estrangement, XSV-15 tests Chad Bingo’s patience with murder, while Doom Cock and Overlord Skull Bludgeon get ready to reclaim their former super villainous glory. And a mole within the Skull Base is revealed! Who is it?! Why would I tell you who it is here? That would be stupid.